why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
