I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
