YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
