so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
