..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize