you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
