i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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