Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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