I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
