i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i already hear my dad disowning me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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