Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
