I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
