so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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