new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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