I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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