coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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