Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my being single is dangerous.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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