Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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