Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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