i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize