Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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