She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's never too late to be topless.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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