that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
