the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So vagazzling was a success
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize