There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
