it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
