Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
