Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
