she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
