Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
