i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
