Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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