I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
