Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
