i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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