He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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