Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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