It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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