Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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