Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
