So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
