My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
