he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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