she looked like the bat from fern gully.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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