my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
