is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
