i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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