I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
