just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
