Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
