is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Randomize
