it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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