Church boner. Awkwardddd
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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