so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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