You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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